Resources for Negotiating
Divorce and Rebuilding Lives
Children
and Teens
- The Divorce Helpbook for Kids, by Cynthia
Macgregor
This is a down-to-earth guide that recognizes how tough divorce is
on kids. Topics discussed include: reasons parents divorce; ways divorce will
change kids' lives; kids' feelings about divorce; things kids can do to feel
better; who to talk to and what's likely to happen next.
- The Divorce Helpbook for Teens, by Cynthia
Macgregor
This is a warm, friendly guide for teens struggling to answer the
tough questions when parents divorce: Why do parents get divorced? How will the
divorce change our lives? What can I do to feel less depressed? Who can I talk
to? What will happen next? How can I tell a parent when they don't visit
enough? How do I say "no" to parents who want me to spy or carry
messages?
- Jigsaw Puzzle Family, by Cynthia
Macgregor
This warm, understanding book addresses the confusion of a newly
formed, combined family. It helps kids realize they're not alone and that many
other kids are dealing with a new stepparent, new rules in the house, new
stepbrothers and/or stepsisters, and living somewhere new.
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Custody and Parenting after Divorce
- The Child Custody Book, by Judge James W.
Stewart
"It is always in your child's best interest to settle a case--with
or without mediation--rather than to litigate in court," says Judge Stewart.
The process of court child custody litigation is clearly explained to eliminate
surprises that could lead to costly mistakes along the way. Parents who settle
disputes out of court can save tens of thousands of dollars, and avoid the
rancor and hostility of a custody trial that makes future cooperation almost
impossible.
- 101 Little Instructions for Surviving Your
Divorce, by Barbara J. Walton
A practicing divorce attorney who has
"been there" hundreds of times holds the readers hand through the maze of
divorce, custody, mental health issues, child support, property settlement,
attorneys, court procedures and more. Each brief "instruction" offers hope,
encouragement and guidance. A common sense approach is offered based on
knowledge of the long-term effects of the legal process on both adults and
children.
- Parenting After Divorce, by Philip M. Stahl,
Ph.D.
This is a guide to resolving conflicts and meeting your children's
needs after the divorce. Dr. Stahl's advice will help you avoid the 12 most
common mistakes divorcing parents make--and spare you the emotional and
financial damage they can cost you.
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Rebuilding Lives after Divorce
- 50 Ways to Love Your Leaver, by Dwight Webb,
Ph.D.
Dr. Webb's personal journey becomes a practical guide for those
seeking to survive loss of love. 50 Ways covers grief, intimacy and
loss, denial, letting go of blame and anger. It also includes "how to"
procedures and helpful exercises.
- After Your Divorce: Creating the Good Life on Your
Own, by Cynthia Macgregor and Robert E. Alberti, Ph.D.
This
straightforward manual of advice and suggestions assumes every woman is capable
of handling life on her own. Addresses help for emotional recovery, practical
matters (finances, home maintenance), dealing with your ex, helping children
cope and more.
- Getting Apart Together, by Martin Kranitz,
M.A.
The couples who work out a negotiated settlement and avoid court get
more of what they want. This is a self-help guide, complete with ground rules,
agendas for discussion, sample forms, and options for divorce mediation without
"bloodshed". It's packed with examples of successful agreements on
Co-parenting, Custody, Financial Support, College Planning, Property
Insurances, Taxes and more.
- Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends, by
Dr. Bruce Fisher and Dr. Robert Alberti
Fisher's "divorce process rebuilding
blocks" offer a proven, supportive nineteen-step process for putting one's life
back together after divorce. His understanding of the stages of divorce is
remarkable.
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Co-Parenting After
Divorce
After divorce, the role of spouse ends, but the role of
parent continues. Co-parenting means both parents play an active role in
children's lives and responds to their needs. Success depends on how well
parents function.
Research indicates benefits of co-parenting include:
children have a relationship with both parents; develop feelings of stability;
and are able to function better as individuals because they are less likely to
feel they have to meet social and emotional needs of parents.
Stress is
reduced for all family members because there is a "parenting plan". The plan
lays out parents' roles and responsibilities after the divorce resulting in
less parental conflict and happier children.
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Family Therapy and
Divorce
During divorce almost everyone experiences emotional
distress and confusion. Parents fear children will be emotionally scarred and
are confused about the best way to talk to them. Children are afraid of losing
one or both parents and often don't have the words to express their fears,
confusion and anger.
At this point, family therapy can be helpful
because it emphasizes the interdependency of family members rather than
focusing on individuals. It is this interdependency of family members that's at
the core of the high level of distress for everyone. Even though the family is
on the verge of break-up, family therapy can help everyone understand that a
healthy interdependency between children and parents can continue even as the
family restructures.
All members attend. The goal is to understand the
family interactions and communications. Family therapy can help everyone learn
to interact and talk, so that everyone feels understood and has a greater
understanding of what will be happening as the separation and divorce
proceed.
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Other Resources from The Family Mediation Center
At FAMILY MEDIATION
CENTERS™ we will help you reshape your future...
not rehash your
past.
Want to learn more?
Send
us your full name and e-mail address* and we will send you our FREE
"Painless Divorce" e-booklet, containing dozens of tips to help you
breeze through this difficult time.
Still have questions?
Contact us! We are always happy to speak to
you.
*We respect your privacy and will not give your e-mail
address to anyone without your permission.
To learn more about
Sherrie Marcus and Family Legal Services, visit
www.SherrieMarcus.com.
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